Before I even begin telling you about this story and why I am writing about this, I want to let it be known that I am not trying to say that living in a small town is bad. This is the story of my experience and how those experiences have shaped me. By no means am I trying to shade anyone in this post or try to sound ungrateful for the ability to have a roof over my head or to have gotten an education. With that being said, lets get to this story.
I wanted to write this story simply for those of you have ever felt like you didn’t belong in your community. I’m also writing this because if 2018 is the year of self-empowerment than it is time to face the obstacles of the past so we can move forward.
I am not going to disclose where I live on the internet but I do live in a “small town”. I put it in quotations because in terms of population and amenities, my town is not small. It is not small in size but it is small in mentality. And that is biggest issue in living here. Growing up in a town that is so interconnected from generations to generations is hard when your family’s history is not rooted in one place. Going to school was rough because people knew each other from birth because their families were friends. Apart from that it was hard because even though it may not have been prevalent to many people, economic differences in this town can be very big.
When I was younger I never had an issue with my town. I had my friends I hung out with everyday and nobody cared about anything else. And then high school rolls around…
High school in my town means picking your clique in 9th grade and sticking to it until you graduate. Yes it is that stereotypical high school where there is very little room to do anything without people finding out. I witnessed so many toxic friendships and relationships that were forced to remain because it was known: you simply couldn’t escape those people.
I did suffer a lot in high school because of this. The inability to branch out and experience different things in high school affected me more than perhaps anyone I went to school knows. I was taunted and insulted by people in high school in private. But I remained silent about my suffering because everyone knew each other in this town. Following the “small town” mentality, I was afraid of speaking in fear of spending four years isolated from everyone. I am grateful to no longer be in the same place mentally than I was then. However it did take a lot for me to get here.
the small town bubble
The “small town” mentality includes feeling different because my family hasn’t lived here for decades and hasn’t known my teachers since before I was born. I witnessed clear favoritism because of this and although I am certain it was not intentional, it does hurt. Not everyone was born with that kind of advantage and it was difficult to remember.
Another aspect of this is the certain bubble that surrounds this town. Most of my peers’ families are fairly well off since they are established families and owners in this town. What this means is that often I witnessed a lack of motivation in school. There was a lack of any need to branch out and do something more than the expected norm. This was frustrating to me. I knew I wanted to explore the world and do something more than the usual and often I felt that wasn’t an accepted idea.
where I am at today…
Today, I still live in this town. It is close to my university which allows me to commute to school. Going simply to the next town over has proven to be the best thing that could’ve happened to me. And believe it or not, this has to do with my town. Living in this town and going through my experiences has made me even more hungry to do something more with my life. Today I am a blogger and Youtuber, something that if you would’ve told me 4-5 years ago I wouldn’t have believed you. Seeing the small accomplishments I have done with content creation has proven to me that everything happens for a reason. If I wouldn’t have had those hardships, I wouldn’t work as hard as I have. For that I am thankful.
This last message to you my readers is this, spread kindness and love. It is easy to say but hard to put into action. I don’t blame my peers for my experiences (I made my own mistakes as well), a lot of them could’ve been avoided if we would’ve spread more kindness. We never truly know the lives of others or what they could be going through. Instead of apologizing after the fact, save everyone the trouble and start out with kindness.
I hope you guys understand where I am coming from with this and enjoy this post. All I hope is for at least one person to gain something from this.
Until Next Time!
P.S. Outfit details can be found in a previous outfit post.